10 Years...

To my dearest Peter on our 10 year anniversary,

I know that you might kill me for posting this on our blog, so please forgive me. I just wanted to make sure that we remember where we've been and where we are going...together, forever.

It has been my greatest fortune to have met you, and have fallen in love with you 10 years ago on this day. I still can't believe that you actually loved me back, and still do. Thank you for being my best friend and partner all this time. You are a friend in the "valley" and a friend on "the mountaintop" in good times and hard times. I cannot imagine a life without you. We have sort of "grown up" together, huh? I think the first thing I said to you was probably the dumbest thing ever... "My name is Liz and I like to have fun!" Thank you for loving me anyway! I will never forget the whirlwind of our Freshman year together, and I even forgive you for falling down the library stairs while carrying me on your shoulders at 2:30 AM!

I have never laughed harder than I have with you. There aren't adaquate words either to describe the deep sense of safety and peace I feel, held in the steadfast and persistant love you show me every single day. Every single year. You were there for me after my car accident, you take the trash out b/c you know I hate it, you always eat my food graciously, we have moved together more times than anyone really should, you are a wonderful father, you work and study ceaselessly to provide for our family, you leave me chilled coffee every morning even though you think it's wierd that I love cold coffee. You are nothing less than a very tangible symbol of redemtion in my life. I love you. My treasure, my friend. The memories are too numerious to list, and some as you know, are to scandelous to post so here is the short list. Here is our top 10 at 10:

1. Passing notes in U of I School of Music practice rooms (i'm still sorry about the highlighter incident!)

2. Interlocken Arts Camp canoe trips

3. Shark bowls at R&R's and Pokey sticks

4. October 15, 1998...Friday afternoon outside the U of I Music School. Planning the first date.

Elizabeth: "Peter do you want to go see this play with me this weekend?"

Peter: "Sure, I guess"

(a few hours pass and elizabeth calls peter's dorm room)

Elizabeth: "So, I just realized the play isn't until November... Sorry."

Peter: "Oh"

Elizabeth: "So I guess I'll see you in November. Like Wyclef...ha ha ha"

(Read here: This is the part where I was waiting for you to say something like, 'Oh no- I couldn't possibly wait that long to go out with you. What are you doing tonight?' But no! Instead...

Peter: "Okay, see you in November"

(Obviously, we ended up managing to get together at some point)

5. The Horsetooth Resevior insident... my partner in crime

6. Driving from Calvin to MSU every. single. weekend.

7. Our front porch on Ethel St. in Grand Rapids

8. Seeing you dressed up as a blue care bear on Halloween

9. Clara Jane

10. Waking up next to my best friend every morning

You are engraved in my heart forever.

Love,

Elizabeth

Linderpalooza, Fall '08

This past weekend we had a wonderful visit with Grandma & Grandpa Linder and Great Aunt Mary.  She really is a GREAT Aunt. She and Oscar were fast friends!  It rained and was nasty and cold on Sat and Sun, so we were house bound a lot.  We spend a cozy weekend together reading by the fireplace, cooking meals, drinking wine, being entertained by Clara & Oscar's antics, laughing a lot and chatting...generally just catching up and being cozy around the house.  Mary bought Clara a push toy that makes this jingly music box-like sound when she pushes it.  We are trying to get Clara to walk and this toy is somewhat motivating for that.  We'll keep you posted!  Here are some pix from the weekend together as a family.  We miss you G'pa's and Aunt Mary!!!!  Wish we lived closer, and thanks so much for coming to see us!  Clara really hit the jackpot in the Grandparent department. We love you guys more than you know.

Zoo Day

The other week we had a perfect Colorado fall day. The cool and cloudy in the morning turned into a crisp and sunny Autumn day.

So my good friend Carrie (Max's mom) and I decided to head down to the Denver zoo which neither of us had been too. Carrie and I have Thursdays at home with our kiddos and often spend that day of the week together.

It's funny how having a baby allows you to do all the things that sound like fun, but you might feel silly doing sans children. The zoo is one of them! Soooo.... here is a list of Clara's fav 5 regarding the Denver Zoo:

1. Pointing at every animal, gasping in awe and exclaiming, "Oscar!" (Every non-human is an "Oscar" in her mind!)

2. Holding hands with her friend Max and warning the polar bears to stay away from Sarah Palin.

3. Watching the monkeys climb all over each other, giggling... it's amazing how much alike humans and monkeys are. We have 99% identical DNA makeup.

2. Stealing cheddar bunnies from Max, and throwing her cherrios all over the primate house!

1. Strolling around the zoo in her cozy hat and mittens imitating the bird noises, "Quack, quack.."

Fantastic Fall Weekend

We had the best time this past weekend just hanging out in our neck of the woods. On Friday night we drove into the mountains north of Ft. Collins to attend a "Raising Party" for Frameworks Timber Framing Co.  Peter used to work for these guys, who throw a huge bash every time they finish a job.  We got to eat local organic DELICIOUS food, and listen to the band who won the Telluride Bluegrass Festival this year!  Best of all, it was totally free.  Thanks again to Isaac and Adrian for the invite.  On Saturday we decided it was time to go to our local pumpkin patch and stock up on pumpkins and cider.  I have to give a shout out here to my hometown pumpkin patch, Sunny Acres, which no pumpkin patch will ever hold a candle too!  But we managed to have a fantastic time and nothing in the world beets pulling your baby girl around in a old school radio flier!  We couldn't resist the cheesy family photo opts!  Then on Sunday, we headed down to our favorite local farm.  Cure farm does a pig roast party every Fall to celebrate the Harvest and to celebrate the community.  We were fortunate enough to be able to see our dear friend Chloe there who is moving back here to Boulder from Vermont!  We can't wait to be able to hang out with our friends Alex & Chloe, who recently got hitched!!  Yeah....   

It was all in all a very exciting weekend.  Take a look at the link to the left here and check out our photos on Picasa. 

Held...

Webster's Dictionary defines this word that has come to my mind quite often the past year in the following way:

Held: to have or kept in the hand, to bear, sustain or support with or as if with the hands or arms; to conduct or carry on; to keep in the mind, believe: held certain beliefs, to maintain a grasp, remain fast...etc.

This past year has been one of the most significant, wonderful, frightening, difficult, frustrating and amazing years in my life to date.

My husband, Peter and I found ourselves in the midst of many "firsts" all at once.  Most of which included our baby girl, Clara being born three days into Peter's first year of law school.  We have experiences blessings too numerous to count, and although I know it could have been far more difficult than it has been, it was still challenging.  Hard on our family, our marriage, on my sense of identity.

As I feel so stretched sometimes- in discovering my new role as a mama, as well as balancing my job and being there for my husband the best I can through this law school experience, and struggling to make ends meet financially; I simultaneously feel a tremendous sense of peace.  I simply feel held.

There are many reasons for this, most of which include an incredible family support system we are so blessed with.  It seems that every time my hope seems to falter and I spin my wheels of worry, there is a friend or family member who does something to remind us that we are just that. Held.  We have been reminded that even though our family faces great unknown and challenge, we are held by family.  Held by the Holy One.  I suppose this is how I see God these days, when he/she remains otherwise silent.  

I remember reading somewhere once that, change is the beginning of renewal, no matter how much it hurts at first it can be sacred and refining if we embrace it and let us shape who we are and who we are to become.  We must let it into our very beings.  I am clumsily grasping to do this very thing. 

Lately, as I hold my own daughter the way my mother held me, and still does in different ways- I am frightened for Clara's future, for her world.  I hope for change with a lump in my throat.  I hear about the economy which is crashing down around us, about war, climate change, genocide, about outsourcing and joblessness, about my country who turns their nose at a senator who wants a meager $1000 tax cut for families who make less than $200K/year but in the same breath begs us to approve a 7 billion dollar bailout for Wall St. which would cost those same Americans $10K/family, about how half of my own paycheck goes toward mediocre health insurance for our family.

I am frightened, but still have hope.  As the election draws near we find ourselves in our own family hoping for a country who will elect a person we can look up too, who can bring Americans together again and make our nation feel "held."  I want Clara to have her start in life in a country who's president feels strongly about community, and building peace through relationships.  I want Clara to be able to read this someday and feel grateful for her nation's ability to come out of a recession, end war time, and have renewable energy sources be a part of everyday living.

My highest hope for my daughter is for her to feel held.  By her family and her world.  I want Clara to read this someday and know not only how much her life has shaped who I am, but that no matter how painful change in life and in the world can be she feels held in her life's journey.  I am thankful we get to walk this road together, as a family.  So here's to a better world and a new era for our little ones.

They said it would go by fast...

I can't believe how quickly she is growing up! She used to stay put all swaddled up in her blanket and now she is always on the move, talking laughing with a mind of her own and a huge baby belly. I wish I could store these precious days in a bottle and take them out years from now when I need them again....Sigh...